They scream, and they cry... much like you're doing now.

Hello, hello! Your faithful teacher has returned. Did anyone else enjoy that storm we had last night? I sure did. You know, thunder and heavy rain can mask footsteps pretty well, especially if you're wearing boots. Oh, and not to mention the screams. You can probably hear maybe a soft "mmmmm" sound from about... let's say forty yards away?

Yeah, sounds about right.

So anyways, a guy named Michael Darrel, or something of that sorts... Me and that asshat holding the BIG BOOK OF SECRETS AND TRUTH have been after him for a while. I wouldn't necessarily say it was a cooperative endeavor, not in the least. Maybe it was a competition to see who could get him to squeal the loudest before he gave us some answers. Maybe...

... Not giving out any motives or anything. That totally wasn't the plan, nope. Not at all, no way, uh-uh.

Let me just say, I absolutely despise that book-toting fossil of an entity. Don't get me wrong, his motives are decent, his tactics are nearly flawless and crushing. But my GOD, his attitude towards things. Dude can't have a bit of fun, not once in his existence. He's SO SERIOUS about EVERYTHING. "We need to do this quickly," "Hurry up, I'd rather not let them find us," "I thought I heard them, hurry up!"

Maaaaaaaaaan, take a pill and relax. Or maybe even join in the fun. BUT NO, he has to constantly be on my ass about Archy and the Dog. If they would have happened to turn their ugly faces(s) around the corner, we could have easily gotten out of there. With or without a dead body on our hands.





If you ever need a wingman, don't pick the guy who's always holding the big book you can't read. Because, he'll always be a killjoy. I didn't even expect him to ask for my help, especially against Archy.

Well, then again, they are a pretty nasty match when they're against each other. Even so, why pick me? There are plenty of me out there. Ah well, I guess I was the closest. No matter. I had my fun. So, story time.




                                                                                                                            



I take my knife and plunge it right down onto Mickey D's knee. There's a soft spot there, pretty nice for knifeplay. (Are you taking notes? Good. This is useless information if you ever come in contact with me). The whole time I'm wiggling my knife around in his leg, he's screaming. Bloody murder, mates. All the way.

The Old Man's just standing there, on the other side of him, tapping his foot, shaking his head, fixing his bowtie, glancing in his book...

So I say, "Come on, old man, have some fun with him! You can't let me have all the fun, you know."
"You should be gracious I've let you toy with him this long." his response is pretty dull and lame, just like him.
"And sometimes, you get bored with your toys."

He just shakes his head once more, turns around to face the door. I pull the knife right out of his knee and put it to his eye. He knew what I wanted, even without my asking. AND YET HE REFUSES. He refuses to tell me.

And it only hit me now, the Old Man could've just pulled the info out of his little book. But I guess he wanted ME to get it. Unfortunately, I'm not queasy. And he's stubborn. Bad choice of terms when I've got a knife to his EYE.

So what do I do? Eyelids; gone. I sorta missed, so he could blink a quarter of the way. It looked really weird, if I had a picture, I'm sure you freaks would love it. Anyways, I'm getting tired of this story-telling, and I'm running a bit late for my little meet-up with the Old Man in the Metropolis. So, I'll cut this short.

Eyelids mutilated. Wanna tell me my information? "NO."
Eyes gone. Still got the same answer? "NO."
Teeth busted out. Same answer? "NO."
One arm gone. Same answer? "GAAAAAAAAAH."
Other arm gone. Sorry, what was that? "NO."
Both legs gone. Noooooooow?

That did the trick. Unfortunately, the Old Man bailed out on me before I snapped his legs, so he missed out on the intel on-- well... that'd spoil the surprise. I guess that's why he called me into the Metropolis.



I've got a VERY important date with destiny... haha, get it? Because the Old Man can...? Ah, whatever. Anywaaaaaaaaaays... I do really have to go, so I'll catch you suckers around.

And remember, kids... when Thorns asks you a question, he expects an immediate answer. Later!